Surrogate Mama

Should Obama fight this race by staying on message and plugging policy, or should he sink to the McCain/Palin level of personal, lying attacks? Don’t know, don’t care, but I have decided to step in and put on my surrogate cap.

Read Paul Krugman’s op-ed peice in The New York Times today:

Perfectly said. The lies are outrageous not only in and of themselves, but also have no positive, healing effect on the path for the U.S. Ultimately, the ones hurt most by these diversionary campaign tactics are the American people.

With regard to Palin, raise your hand if you saw her interview with Charlie Gibson. She prides herself on her empty bluster, her inability to answer any yes or no question straight up, and perceived talent “not to blink”. Listen up: if her finger might be on the nuclear button one day, I damn well want her to blink. And then I want her to blink again.

The following was sent to me by a friend. Since I am fulfilling the bitch surrogate role today, enjoy:

I’m a little confused. Let me see if I have this straight…..

* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you’re “exotic, different.”
* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story.

* If your name is Barack you’re a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
* Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you’re a maverick.

* Graduate from Harvard law School and you are unstable.
* Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating, you’re well grounded.

* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a
state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees, you don’t have any real leadership experience.
* If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people, then you’re qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive.

* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you’re not a real Christian.
* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you’re a Christian.

* If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.
* If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant , you’re very responsible.

* If your wife is a Harvard graduate laywer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family’s values don’t represent America’s.
* If you’re husband is nicknamed “First Dude”, with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn’t register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

OK, much clearer now.

4 Responses to “Surrogate Mama”

  1. Tractor Puller Palin Says:

    You forgot prayer for oil pipelines. That is important to god and our country. Has Barack ever prayed for oil pipelines? I didn’t think so.

  2. Natalie Rosen Says:

    Don’t forget her wanting to make sure we all read what she thinks we should all read. Glad she’s there to monitor what goes into MY brain. Brother what a subversive we all know Harry Potter is. So important to get him out of our libraries.

    And thankfully she knows what Abraham Lincoln said about god. She said he said of course we should not worry if god is on our side but rather that we are on god’s side. So just what does THAT mean? Would saving the polar bears be on god’s side? Would stemming global warming be on god’s side? Just which of god’s sides should we be on? Would controlling hand guns so kids don’t blow each others head’s off be on god’s side? Would not polluting the earth with more drilling for filthy oil be god’s side? If all of those are god’s sides then Sarah Palin must be on the side of the devil since she is the opposite of all of those things. I wish she would tell me which side of god’s we should be on.

    She’s a JERK and we must all get the word out she CANNOT be one heart beat away from an old man’s cancer ridden body!

  3. Dolly Parton Says:

    i sent in my check for dissin’ for dollars today. i’ve had it.

  4. amy lilley Says:


Comments are closed.

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