Here Comes The Judge!

This being my 400th post, I am going back to my major premise for speaking up in the first place: adherence to a code of ethics, personal morality and the expectation of doing the right thing.

Call me judgmental.  PLEASE DO SO! After almost thirty years of parenting and taking offense when others, including my own children, have labelled me judgmental, I now take that as the ultimate compliment.  So thank you very much.  It means that I have done my job.

True: to judge others harshly has, as a probable pitfall, the creation of a bottomless pit of negativity.  However, within the scope of reason, having an opinion on things moral and ethical is the main ingredient of successful parenting.  To do otherwise is an abrogation of parenting duties and a disservice to your children.  In order to instill values in the next generation, one must take a position.  To just stand by and accept all options as equally correct, and further, to thrust the final decision on the maturing child and saying “Good job”, no matter whether the decision is moral, is not parenting.  It is trying to make friends with your child instead of being a moral compass for his or her development.

Let me cite some examples.  Mind you,  these three incidents occurred in just one family in the span of one night’s dinnertime.  There is a family of four: a mother, a father and two grown children.  The daughter is living in her own apartment and one night heard screams from a female neighbor and then watched the male companion hit the woman twice.  This daughter did not call the police because the male neighbor saw her observing.  Her parents agreed, or at least did not fault their daughter, that she took no action, i.e. she did nothing.  Then, this same family’s son has a fiance who recently quit her fairly lucrative job because she just didn’t want to work.  Really and truly.  Her soon-to-be father-in-law then put her, in name only, on the payroll of his business so she could qualify for health insurance.  This young woman does not work at that place of business.  Furthermore, the intended father-in-law also plans to make a killing in the real estate market (dream on: “best laid plans, etc………) by using this fictitious employment record to buy some property in the intended daughter-in-law’s name.  Tit for tat.  Finally, the mother of this family was just fired from her job and got her psychiatrist to sign off on disability providing a whopping $4000 a month of your and my money to a adequately healthy person who just thinks she should be paid for doing no work at all.   I wonder why this woman waited until she got fired to ask her doctor for a disability request.  Do you think  that perhaps her “disability” is no such thing at all and that the task of job searching and her probable new salary would not match up favorably with the amount of the the disability payments she could expect?   Whew!  All of this in one family.

These kids do not stand a chance of growing up and doing the right thing because look at the role models their parents are.  Monkey see, monkey do.  I will be the first (liberal) person to admit that there are many citizens who need our social and economic safety net, i.e. unemployment and disability benefits.  But to those, however few or many, who abuse the system because they refuse to take a job that does not net them as much money per week as unemployment payments do or claim fraudulent disability benefits because it sure beats the grind of a nine to five job, I say you are damn well correct is thinking me judgmental.  Somebody has to be.  And I maintain my sense of right and wrong in condemning those medical professionals who approve such disability diagnoses.  The chain of blame is long, the red tape-laden system is conducive to such abuses, but it begins with the person who thinks they can game the system for their own delight at the expense of all of us.  Do they not have any pride at all in making an honest living?

As I have grown older and wiser, I have come to the realization that many use the term “judgmental” as an epithet to prohibit me from having an opinion, especially one that is critical of their corrupt and often illegal choices.  The bottom line is that they just do not like what I am saying.  Perhaps they cannot handle the truth.  Instead, they call me arrogant.  Damn right.   I was brought up to call them as I see them, and when I see outrageous behavior that affects all of us, I certainly am going to be arrogant.  I will call on the carpet that horrible behavior every single time I see it.  Some idiots would advise me to just keep quiet for the sake of peace.  In fact, these benefit abusers are actually banking on that hope that a confrontation is actually worse for the judge than their abuse of the system.   Somewhat twisted, no?

Why are we so shocked at the ethical and moral vacuum of our corporate and political world?  If such behavior is so ingrained in us as individuals, our group ethos has no chance of reflecting higher principles.

So thank you for calling me judgmental.  I accept that as a very high compliment and will continue to rise to the occasion.  They don’t call me “Yo Mama” for nothing.

Thanks for sticking with me for 400 posts.  My next one is going to be a doozie!


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One Response to “Here Comes The Judge!”

  1. Natalie R Says:

    Love that. I wonder if those people you speak of — any of them — read your posts!!

    The problem with their behavior ALL OF THEM is that it depends on someone else to keep their system going. Once you depend on someone else for your sustenance and good life you face risk. Sometimes it’s great risk. Look at Ruth Madoff. Marriage is a HUGE contract with MANY benefits but MANY MANY pitfalls. If that person goes bankrupt, does something fraudulently illegal, gets sick, or even dies the dependent person is IN THE PROVERBIAL SOUP!! That is why even Elizabeth Cady Stanton KNEW that rights for women were imperative. Truly independence for ALL people is imperative.

    Many women succumbed and even died when the person/s they depended upon got sick and/or died. Since men usually die before women, women NEED to be able to function by themselves. A documentary on her entitled (I THINK) “Not For Ourselves Alone” states it perfectly. It is WHY women and ANYONE for that matter MUST be able to stand on their OWN feet for their own self worth and most importantly for their OWN survival. We are alone in birth and we we are alone in death. Everything in between should be geared toward survival WITHOUT depending on one other person but oneself! It’s the safest route.

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