July Fourth Fun Times

Around this time of year, those of us who went to summer camp get a bit nostalgic.  My two very special camp friends from 45 years ago always keep me well-supplied with entertaining tidbits.  The following are more of their love of laughter.

Here is a letter home from a camper that you might enjoy.

Dear Mom &  Dad,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the
flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2
sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because
we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam’s mother and tell her he is okay. He can’t
write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue
jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it
hadn’t been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without
telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so
he probably didn’t hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire,
the gas will blow up?

The wet wood didn’t burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our
clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed. It
wasn’t his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left.
Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus that old you have to expect
something to break down; that’s probably why he can’t get insurance.

We think it’s a neat bus. He doesn’t care if we get it dirty and if it’s
hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. He let us take turns
riding in the trailer until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to
us. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24.

Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don’t worry, he is a good driver. In
fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where
there isn’t any cops. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out
to the rapids. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn’t let me because I can’t swim,
and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, it’s concrete
because we didn’t have any plaster, so he let us take the canoe out. It
was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the
flood.

Scoutmaster Keith isn’t crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn’t even
get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on
the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew
dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works.

Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it probably was just
food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way
with food they ate in prison. I’m so glad he got out and became our
scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better
while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters&  buy some
more beer and ammo. Don’t worry about anything. We are fine and tonight
it’s my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster’s tent.

Love, Jimmie

And this is just a story about aging baby boomers:

DEAF WIFE — “PRICELESS”

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.

The doctor told him there is a simple, informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor.  Stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal, conversational speaking tone, see if she hears you.  If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the den.  He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away.  Let’s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asks, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”  No response.  So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife, and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?’  Still no response.  Next, he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet from his wife, and asks “Honey, what’s for dinner?”  Again he gets no response.

So he walks right up behind her.  “Honey, what’s for dinner?”

I just love this ………

Ralph, FOR THE FIFTH TIME, CHICKEN!!!!!!!!”

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2 Responses to “July Fourth Fun Times”

  1. EGR Says:

    Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah.

  2. amy lilley Says:

    as I said to your other very special camp friend, I know 4 camp directors who would be rolling over in their graves reading that letter…and the ‘Deaf Wife’…I have pulled that one out of the bag a couple of times already…:))

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