Kudos and Catcalls: Mid-July 2010

It is once again time for praise for the wise and poop for the idiotic.

Yet again, Gwyneth Paltrow has bestowed upon us the travails of her body.  She says that losing her baby weight has been the most difficult thing she has ever done in her life.  Wow.  She must lead quite a charmed life, no?  Either that or perhaps the movie she starred in called “Shallow Hal” influenced her pretty dramatically.  Catcalls to  Gwynnie for placing such emphasis on her image, and the stupidity to publicize her “hardship”.

Glenn Beck has been doing commercials for a while now on a company that promotes gold investments.  I have seen this infomercial many times on television.  It scared the daylights out of me.  So why is it not a surprise that this company, Goldline, is now under investigation for fraud, having many clients who lost their pants after investing with this enterprise?  From mortgages that require no down payment to Bernie Madoff to an oil industry that is allowed to drill deep water wells without having sufficient technology or contingencies in case of a spill, the old adage, “If it is too good to be true, it is”, still holds.  My only question regarding these fraud charges against Goldline is: who didn’t see this coming?  Catcalls to Glenn Beck for going for the money instead of the cents (sense).

I am sure by now you have all heard of Sarah Palin’s penchant for creating her own vocabulary.  This week, she made up a non-existent word and used it on Twitter.  Then she had the gall to say that William Shakespeare also invented words!  Oy vey.  Let’s just allow her to keep talking.  The greater implication of her babble though, is that her speech faux pas are indicative of  a disorderly, undisciplined mind.  Her conceptual thinking, her attempts at meaningful ideas, are just as lacking as as her outward speech patterns.  No news there.  Some funny responses on Twitter have surfaced in response to our Sarah’s creative use of words.  The site’s name is Shakespalin:

http://twitter.com/shakespalin

Boos and hisses to our Sarah for her continuing lack of intellectual development, and her attempts to cover up that laziness by using bravado.

Of course, the apple does not fall from the tree.  Bristol and Levi have now demanded a full-season guarantee to a reality show being developed for this duo.  Crazy kids!  The hypocrisy, irony and plain old venal and mercenary intentions seem to run in the Palin blood.  Ruth Marcus, in the Washington Post today, lays out the excellent probability of Bristol following her mother’s illustrious footsteps.  This article is not only spot on about the pathology of the child-rearing practices of the Palin family, but also it is damn funny.  What a role model our Sarah is.  It is as simple as imprinting, “monkey-see, monkey-do”, and the most basic of urges for a child to want to emulate a parent.  Either our Sarah is oblivious to these most fundamental principles of human behavior,  or she chooses to just ignore them for the sake of financial lucre.  Thus, her Bristol is following suit.  Choices, my friends, are what makes up a life of worth.  Our Sarah has chosen despicable, contra-indicated family values to act upon and pass on to her vulnerable brood, although I must admit that Bristol is not an innocent kid anymore and should be using her own sense to weigh important life decisions.  Oh yeah: but look at whose knee she was at when learning valuable lessons.  Once again, catcalls to our Sarah for subverting her mantra of family values to the antithetical rout, as if her strict moral protocol does not apply to her personally.  Especially when money is involved.

Kudos to Senator Lindsey Graham for his “Yes” vote for Elena Kagan in the Senate Judiciary Committee hearings.  In this particular circumstance, Graham overcame his partisanship and did what he thought was right.  He refused to allow party politics to muddy the importance, and his gut feeling, about this Supreme Court nominee.  His comments:

What’s in Elena Kagan’s heart is that of a good person who adopts a philosophy I disagree with,” Graham said. “She will serve this nation honorably, and it would not have been someone I would have chosen, but the person who did choose, President Obama, I think chose wisely.

Compliments to the media for their insightful research on demographics and specific recommendations to bettering our citizens’  lives.  We all know how tough this recession has been, especially on the younger generation, just out of college and searching for jobs.  The Brookings Institute came out with a study of the most educated cities in the nation.  Likewise, Business Week unveiled a study of the best cities for the newly graduated.  If you pair these two articles, Denver or Minneapolis look pretty good for settlement and making your mark on the world.  Gotta leave the coasts.  There’s gold in that middle of the country!

I owe thanks and kudos to my friend Ms. Seven Striper for her impeccable sense of humor and insight:

OLD BUTCH



John was in the fertilized egg business.

He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.John’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring.

He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Saint Lawrence

County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.

Vote carefully this fall, the bells are not always audible.

And last but not least, my friend Lilleyhope sent me this video on the essence of a Yiddishe Mama, a Jewish Mother.  Kudos to this charming oldster for being so honest:


I am off to the “woods” for a couple of weeks. I promise you some great photo essays, as well as typical Yo Mama words.

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4 Responses to “Kudos and Catcalls: Mid-July 2010”

  1. NatalieR Says:

    THE FUNNIEST FUNNIEST ABSOLUTELY TRUE VIDEO I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND ONE DOES NOT HAVE TO HAVE HAD KIDS TO BE EVERYTHING SHE SAID SHE WAS. And worse I remember SO WELL and NOW with such fondness that I MISS my mother telling me I WAS a ROTTEN KID and that I SHOULD wait until I had kids so I would see.

    Well, I got back at her because I did NOT have kids BUT thankfully for the ones I didn’t have I KNOW I would have been to them the SAME COMPLAINER I am to my Unitarian partner who sings in the morning when I am KVETCHING. Sing in the morning? Who can do such a thing? What a GREAT video! It’s ME to a tee!

  2. NatalieR Says:

    No one is going to like me for this I suspect but humor me. I am getting it out: MY CATCALLS

    I think Yo Mamma missed a few and ignored some OBVIOUS problems. Since politics is the art of argument and power one must, as I have so quickly realized, that opposition will be expressed. I LOVE Yo Mamma. We have many SIMILAR values BUT at times especially in the more recent past I have had to disagree especially on Obama and I do now.

    The following is stream of conscious catcalls against our president I worked hard for and once loved for committing policies and mistakes with which I take issue and which COULD cost his reelection. I believe it DOES matter to him whether he gets a second term whether he admits it or not. Well, it matters to me. Forgive me it is not a wonderfully written diatribe but I do not have time. SO:

    The Globe today published an editorial about JEB yes, I say JEB F*CK*&^ Bush making a run 2012 through the back door! I will HAVE to commit suicide. I lay this at Obama’s feet. He has TURNED his back UTTERLY on his base — who are people like ME. I am FURIOUS at him (1) for the Sherrod horror show he was ANEMIC on it and shakes in his pants over Fox and wingnut extremists. He should be begging for forgiveness. He plays to Republicans and Fox but what about us his base? Are we chopped liver? Republicans kick him in the posterior. George Bush could have given a rat’s petuti about Democrats and progressives. He played to HIS base (2) the OIL LEAK which he gave thumbs up to off shore drilling OF ALL THINGS…now today they may have to undo the cap because of bad weather so THOUSANDS if not millions more gallons will leak. (3) the CRAPPY health care bill with NO public option which was the hallmark of his campaign but all of a sudden we didn’t need it (5) rather ShI&^Y economic protection act (4) his placement of Wall Street foxes like Geithner and Summers who are against Elizabeth Warren who is a GEM for consumer protection (5) civil liberties breaches and if I thought about it I could come up with more.

    I still haven’t forgotten about the Rick Warren fundamentalist anti gay minister he invited to his inauguration. He threw Rev. Wright his friend of 30 years under the bus as he did this EMINENTLY qualified Jones for a big security position. These are issues he COULD if he played it right have played to his base AND won!

    He is SUCH A HUGE disappointment to me that I am actually getting to loath to seeing him because he bold face lies and sorry YoMamma you think he walks on water and, I think bury your head in the sand to his big frailities.

    Oh yes, I lay at his feet Brown’s election in Mass. Too little support too late and ignorant of the difference that seat meant. It kicked off this rancid Tea Party Movement! So there I got it out of my system!

    You say well would I want McCain/Palin — HELL NO. I THOUGHT I was getting the opposite. Now we may in fact get Jeb Bush because not only did Obama FAIL to get Republicans on his side he alienated his all important base. He CANNOT get elected with simply the black or Hispanic vote. He NEEDS enthusiasm that other whites like me of similar opinion who rallied to his side and thanked god finally we were out of the Bush nightmare.

    What is the best method to check out of this horrific prospect? How can I get out of a possible nightmare scenario? What poison do I swallow? Maybe I’ll just go to the Arctic Circle and be with the Eskimos. At least they do not care about the congressional elections in November or the presidential one in 2012!

    If Obama does not get a second term, it will NOT be me who is responsible. He can blame himself for his turning his back on the people who got him elected and that would be along with those of color and Hispanics, people like this middle aged white, Jewish woman — ME!

    • yomamaforobama Says:

      Normally, a person who detests the GOP so much would fight like hell to keep a Democratic incumbent. Your expectations of miracles and perfection only serve to strengthen the GOP position.

  3. NatalieR Says:

    sorry about the numbering…as I said I’m in a hurry! forgive.

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