The Passover Post

Passover is once again upon us, so let’s celebrate!

The story of Passover encompasses the exodus of the enslaved Jews from Egypt to the promised land of Canaan.  This trek lasted 40 years.  Can you imagine struggling through 40 years of desert conditions, experiencing trial after tribulation to boot?  The following video therefore, is no surprise as to why “Jews Don’t Camp:”

Furthermore, imagine how much easier the Jews’ journey would have been had they had the technology that is available today.  Oy, the humanity of it all!  A modern day exodus would be so different from the original exodus.

Finally, here are some definitions of new-fangled words, totally appropriate for those of us celebrating Passover:

Jewbilation (n..) Pride in finding out that one’s favorite celebrity is Jewish or that your offspring is marrying a Jewish person.

Bubbegum  (n.) Candy one’s mother gives to her grandchildren that she never gave to her own children.

Chutzpapa  (n.) A father who wakes his wife at 4:00 a.m. so she can change the baby’s diaper.

Jewdo  (n.) A traditional form of self-defense based on talking one’s way out of a tight spot.

Meinstein  – slang. “My son, the genius!”

Re-shtetlement  (n.) Moving from Brooklyn to Boca Raton and finding all your old neighbors live in the same condo building as you.

Yidentify (v.) To be able to determine Jewish origins of celebrities, even though their names might be St. John , Curtis, Davis, or Taylor.

Feelawful  (n.)  Indigestion from eating Israeli street food, especially falafel.

Dis-kvellified (v.) To drop out of law school, med. school or business school as seen through the eyes of parents, grandparents and Uncle Sid. In extreme cases, simply choosing to major in art history when Irv’s son David is majoring in biology is sufficient grounds for diskvellification.

Impasta (  n.)  A Jew who starts eating leavened foods before the end of Passover.

Schmuckluck (n.) Finding out one’s wife became pregnant after one had a vasectomy.

HAPPY PASSOVER!

Special thanks to Ms. Seven Striper for her unbeatable skills as my humor editor.

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2 Responses to “The Passover Post”

  1. lou Says:

    great post. But I thought Jewdo is what is used to make bagels. Happy holiday

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