More Weekend Funnies

If you want to experience some real nostalgia, visit the summer camp site on Facebook of  Camp Rhoda-Barrington.  We campers have reconnected and the memories just keep flowing.  All of this happened 45 years ago.  Yet, our recovered reminisces are as clear as if they happened yesterday.  That is the power of friendship, camaraderie, competition and yes, a yearning for times gone by.

Here is some entertainment for your weekend:

The  Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any  word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one  letter, and supply a new definition.
    Here are the  winners:

1..  Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2.  Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

3.  Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation :  Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The  substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6.  Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8.. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn’t get it.

9. Inoculatte  : To take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.

10.  Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s
like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.):  The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

13.. Glibido : All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit  (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you’re eating.

The   Washington  Post has also published the winning submissions to
its  yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1.  Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2.  Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one
has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6.  Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing
only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8.  Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n.  Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has
been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n.. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

And a little jokey from one of my best buds from camp:
  Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter,
   
The PRINCESS..
But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.

No matter what;


Metal,

Wood,

Stone,

Anything she touched would melt..

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?


He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,

‘If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.’

The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.

The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king’s wealth..
 
THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.
 
The first brought a sword of the finest steel.


But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.
The prince went away sadly
.

The second prince brought diamonds.

He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt.
But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.


 
He too was sent away disappointed. 
 


 
The third prince approached. He told the princess,
‘Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.’
 
The princess did as she was told, though she turned red
.. 
 
She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.

 
And it did not melt!!!

 
The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. ! 
 
And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was in the prince’s pants?
 



 

&M’s of course…

They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.What were you thinking??   

 

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