Friday Funnies

It’s Friday.  Same old, same old, is going on in the world, so how about some funnies?


Can Cold Water Clean Dishes? This is for all the germ conscious folks
that worry about using cold water to clean.

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan.

 After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.

However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking,

‘Are these plates clean?’

His grandfather replied,

“They’re as clean as cold water can get em.
Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!”

For lunch the old man-made hamburgers.

Again, John was concerned about the plates,
as his appeared to have tiny specks around
the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, 

“Are you sure these plates are clean?”

Without looking up the old man said,

“I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!”

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog  started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass.

  John yelled and said, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car.”
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted:

“Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!”

It is my honor to introduce you to Coldwater:


A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop
one day.  She told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown
for her fourth wedding.

“Of course, madam,” replied the sales clerk, “exactly what type and color
dress are you looking for?”

The bride to be said, “A long frilly white dress with a veil.”  The sales
clerk hesitated a bit, then said, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but
gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are
being married the first time, for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know
what I mean?”

“Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice.”

“Well,” replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk’s directness, “I
can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate.”  “Believe it
or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time
bride.”  “You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, that
he died as we were checking into our hotel.”  “My second husband and I got
into such a terrible fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon that we
had the marriage annulled immediately and never saw each other again.”

“What about your third husband?” asked the sales clerk.

“That one was a Republican,” said the women, “and every night for four years,
he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be,
but nothing ever happened!”


Have a wonderful weekend and stay in touch.

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